Marriage is a wonderful relationship created by God. In order for us to love one another more and more, we have to actively pursue one another—that is, passionately feel attracted to our object of affection and love—and put work into build the relationship. If we put our marriage on automatic mode by living it to chances to work out itself, we will go down hills; but when we put in our energy, the relationship will move forward and we will grow our marriages and become a stronger unit.
Be intentional about spending time together. Spend time together by going on dates—just for the two of you. Go to the movies, go for a nice drive, have a lunch or dinner outside of your home, or engage in a fun activity like hiking. Just be creative and do anything that makes you feel connected to your partner. You have a special relationship with your partner, even when kids come along in the course of the marital journey, it is still important to have time with just the two of you.
If you know you’ve sinned against your spouse, it is also helpful to have a sincere talk about it, have a heart-to-heart communion together, and remember that Jesus has forgiven all your sins on the cross, and that we also ought to do this in our marriage relationship. No sin is too great for the cross if there is repentance.
Spend time with other people. It is important to have other people in your life who will cheer you on and be an active part of your journey. Similarly, be involved in other people’s lives and add value to them, too.
As a couple, make your devotionals a priority. It is very important to stay spiritually connected. When we pray to God, the Holy Spirit will show us and reveal to us if there are things in our marriage for which we have to ask forgiveness from God or from our spouse if we have been unfair to him or her. Mutual forgiveness is very crucial to couples as it gives them a fresh start; and in this way, they won’t grow bitter to one another or build up grudges towards the other person.
Give each other compliments and gifts. Surprise your spouse with a sweet love note or surprise him/her with a gift. It is so easy once you’re married to forget to pass frequent compliments to your spouse and as well realize that you are still dating the love of your life. It is easy to fall into a rot and slur. You have to be intentional about reminding yourself that you are dating a son or daughter of God, who deserves the utmost respect and love. Even your spouse might not be showing mutual affections at all times, you still have the responsibility to show love to your spouse—you don’t even need to feel like it. Be intentional first, and then the feelings will come.
See your marriage as a growing experience. When I first got married, I felt I was constantly failing. Until one day when I messed up, my husband told me, “It’s okay, honey; we are in a growing relationship.” That made such a huge weight fall off my shoulders. Instead of beating myself down whenever I feel I’m messing up, I now see such situations as a learning curve. I see my failure as an indicator that I need to grow and develop our relationship.